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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

I hate who I’ve become

20 Jun

Lately I’ve been dying to get out, be social, have fun and make friends. The issue with this is that you need at lest one friend to go out with, no?

I don’t have any friends in the area I live in. I don’t know my work mates too well, but they seem like pretty cool people, they’re all fucking piss heads, but you know what? I don’t care. I don’t mind getting drunk off my face, and if it’s how to make friends among my co-workers, then bring on the hang overs.

I was actually invited to a 18th birthday down at Dairy 21. I was going to go, I even went out and bought some pre-made strawberry Daquri. But I just couldn’t bring myself to go out. And I hate that. I want to go out, I want to go clubbing2, and I want to be with people my own age.

I even went out to Jay Jays and bought some “Clubbing” clothes. Just some tights, and some dress/top things. But who do I go with? How do I get myself out there? Jareds friend has said we should go into town. And I’m fully going to. Jared doesn’t want to come. The way he’s been bought up.. well, drinking will KILL YOU. No, OK it’s not that bad, he would just rather play games on his PC and ruin his young years, then go out and act like a fool.

Yes. I want to go out and act like a fucking fool. But my personality won’t allow me. I just want to be a stupid fucking 18 year old drunk, dancing, singing, laughing, eating MacDees at 3am in the morning, and ye, I wouldn’t mind a fucking hang over.

I really hate who I’ve become.

  1. I’m dairy 3, dairy 2 is about 10 mins away from me [↩]
  2. Not that I can dance.. [↩]
 
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Posted in Life

 

Two weeks off.

17 Jun

I’ve been at my new job for only 2 weeks so far, and already I have 2 weeks off. They do it because you cannot take any time off during calving except for the 2days off every 8 days, someone dies, or you are about to die yourself. :P

I am extremely thankful for these 2 weeks off, as my time off from my last job didn’t feel like a “Holiday” because all I did was stress, cry and be angry.

So this month, from the 26th to the 5th, I am visiting my mum & sister in Hastings! I’m really excited! It only cost $68 return to get from Christchurch to Wellington, where my mum will pick me up and drive me to Hastings (Hastings isn’t a main flight center, so it’s expensive to fly to)). This trip is a surprise for my sister, I’m not telling her :P She’ll be so happy to see me. I intend to take her to Shrek4 for her birthday, I may also take her shopping or out for a nice lunch. She’s only 13 so I can’t take her make-up shopping or anything silly like that. Plus, like me, she’s not girlie girl.

I’m still undecided about what to do from the 5th – 10th. I’ve finally gotten Jared to somewhat agree to go to Hanmer Springs, he’s finally got his restricted licence so he can how drive, now all he needs is a car. So if we go up, we’d drive seaperatly. Because his parents like to agree with law. :P

I’ve been wanting to go to Hanmer Springs for the past year1. And this would knock off one of my goals on my last blog. I just need to relax, chill out, and be stress free. It’ll be nice to be with Jared, I know this sounds lame but I still fully wanna cook for him! It’ll be nice to do it in a motel. Then swim in heated pools. Bah. I can’t get to excited, because he may not get a car this weekend. :O/ Fingers crossed.

Btw I’ve started using Pro Active, I haven’t noticed a huge difference in my skin, then again, I don’t have a shit load of pimples. Bah. It feels wrong putting all those chemicals on my face. But I decided I better do something about my skin. I’ll let everyone know how it goes.. It’s not exactly fucking cheap.

  1. Ever since I’ve been in Chch and HEARD about the place [↩]
 
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Posted in Beauty, Life, Love, Work, family

 

Six goals, one year.

11 Jun

Goals, I love to make ‘em, love the feeling of starting something, never finish them. This year I intend to complete a list of at lest six goals, simple, easy goals that don’t involve a ton of money, or something that doesn’t really interest me.

1) Read five books;

I haven’t read any novels in the past year, my boyfriend bought me a book that I picked for Christmas, and I’ve only read a few chapters. It’s a book about the royal family.. well, a book set back in time written with the characters being that of the royal family. I love these books. I also must finish Ink Death. Oh how I miss reading.

2) Go on holiday;

By holiday, I mean go a few days / a week somewhere, not seeing family or friends, just go to a beach and chill the fuck out. When I say family or friends, I mean.. I’ll take Jared. I just want him and I to be alone? Know what I mean? Justchill.

3) Pay off more of my car;

When I say “more” I mean pay more then I should, throw money at my loan when I have extra money, I would liketo pay off half of it ($4000), but let’s be realistic. I need to pay off at lest $1000 more then I have to.

4) Save $1000;

I always makes stupid money goals.  Saving is fucking hard for me. This savings will be for rainy days. eg: If I get fired, I hate my job really bad I must leave, I have to travel / find somewhere to stay in case something bad happens in the family, I’m sick for a long period of time. OK so I may need more then $1000, but lets be honest, it’ll be a fucking struggle to get the far.

5) Learn a lot at work;

Last season I learnt a lot, but not as much as I should of, not my fault though. However, this year I want to soak in everything I can, sop up everything I can take from this job, while I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, nurse, farmer or teacher, I still need to be learning as much as I can about everything I can. YAY.

6) Have some fucking fun;

I’m sick of being a fucking Nana. I want to party, I want to make friends, and yeah, I want to drink a little. I’m sick of being all fucking mature and “Drinking is a waste of money / time”. Tbh, in NZ, gets you fucking know where.

And that’s all. Five goals. One year. Think it’ll work? I reckon the goals are pretty do-able.

 
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Posted in Car, Life, Work