The title of this post has nothing to do with what I’m about to post about. Aside from the fact that this song is the only exception to any mainstream songs that I will listen to. I’m not sure why. It’s just a good song. I also refuse to listen to anything else Paramore. Except this song. 
Anyhow, It would apear that this site of mine is basicly a place to lay down what I’m thinking, which is usually the purpose, but I mean, most other Blog sites have nice, positive and inspiring blog posts. Mine are all negative, horrible, self centered, vain posts. So. Here we go;
Fuck life. Haha. No, just, screw the universe. It keeps throwing bricks at me. While the story is a long one, and I won’t go into debth, lets just say I have no idea where I am living / doing in three weeks. I have three weeks to pack up my shit and decide where I am going. When I say “Throwing bricks” at me, I mean, good things happen, and then something happens to undo what happened, or to make it that much harder.
There is a possiblyity to stay in Blenium, with my mums, dads side of the family. I’ve never meet any of them except my aunty barb. She needs someone there to be with her, she’s in a pensioners flat and struggling, because she’s set in her ways. I want to be the one who is there for her, but, I want to study.1
The thing with study? I need a part time job to pay off my car loan. Student allowence is not enough to pay $111 every fourtnight and rent and food etc. You know how many replies I’ve got from my 100+ job applications? One. No jokes. I’ve had one response. And that was an instant turn down, not even an interview offer. So basicly, if I don’t find a part time job in the next few weeks, I’m off to Blemium. On the dole, (government money) and living with people I don’t know. 
My mum says they’re like my Uncle Des, and he’s pretty awesome! I just hope she’s right.
I’m shit scared. Coming to this dairy job, I had the house + job in one. Now I have to find somewhere to live and a job and sort my own shit out. I know my family is there to help, but I don’t like asking for help. I hate to put burdens on people. Because I can’t pay people back. I don’t care if they offer for free, I just don’t like accepting or asking for help. Which is stupid, but I just feel so bad not being able to help myself. And believe me, I’m trying!
I just hope that something does “fall into my lap” like my mum said.
Oh, btw, paying $20 to FIND A JOB on STUDENT JOB SEARCH? Defeats the purpose of FINDING A FUCKING JOB. NZ Government, if you are reading this, I fucking hate you. Bastards. Giving money to lazy shit heads who don’t WANT to work, but you can’t give me a fucking hand while I LOOK for work. Screw you. Screw you hard.
/rant
- See what I mean, vain vain vain [↩]
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Comments (3)
Twitter: vrosis
wrote::
Wait? What’s this about it costing $20 to use Student Job Search? It was completely free when I used the service, and it should STILL be completely free. SJS is not-for-profit, meaning they can’t charge for their service. Only problem with SJS is that if you find a job you like, the position is usually already filled by the time you call the SJS middlemen for a damn interview. I usually just go through TradeMe Jobs (not that I’ve been successful that way, but it’s much easier!).
I’m not sure if this is any help to you, because I don’t know if you already have a bank loan or an overdraft or anything, but when you become a student, banks are generally willing to throw money at you. You can apply for an overdraft (most banks do $1000 in your first year, $2000 in your second and subsequent years), a credit card ($500 limit) and up to $3000 in a loan.
I don’t know how much you have left to pay off on your car, but any one of those options may cover it while you keep searching for a job. Then your job can just be help to pay back the loan/overdraft/credit card :).
Twitter: vrosis
wrote::
Oh, and while I’m thinking about it, don’t be surprised if you are stood down and left without money for a couple of weeks when you apply for the dole. Unlike the student allowance, which starts when your course starts, you are means tested for the dole and they will take any holiday pay you received from your job into account and won’t pay you until they think you NEED it.
I only got $400 worth of holiday pay when I left my first job, but I was stood down for three weeks when I applied for the sickness benefit! It was horrible.
@Nellie:
Hi Nellie!
It’s great to have a kiwi to talk to online!
Because the “institute” I am going to is private (Avonmore), then it’s not government funded. There are only 23 institutions that are free to use SJS. The only exception is during the summer holidays.
I talked to WINZ, they said there would be no stand down period for me beacuse my bosses are not renewing my contract. And I’m not getting paid out holiday pay, (another DOL issue.. I should get onto that.)
I saw the Westpac student pack, but I’m not to sure about it.. I’m not sure as an over draft works, I know my mums had one for YEARS and the interest never really went up much. I have a -now- $8000 loan. I would be more then happy to stick on a extra grand or 3 so I can pay it off.. but I mean, don’t you have to start paying off loans as soon as a draw down? Unless the student pack has some kind of conditions. I need to call a bank and talk to them about it. Because I don’t really care about being in debt, as long as I’m gaining a qualification for it.