SurroundedByGrass.

Ak. So I haven’t blogged in awhile. I’m kinda having trouble deciding what to talk about. I’m trying to stick to one topic instead of ranting on a number of things. My mind just gets more confused.

So I’m going to try and get this off my mind. Me being clingy towards my boyfriend.

I’m not usually a clingy girlfriend. I mean, I used to be with other guys, but I realized it drove them away, so I stopped being so needy, and.. girly-girl. And it’s going all good with Jared. He’s not complained about clingy-ness or anything.

I fear he will though. As lately I have been extremely… *Argh, girls, you can’t do that”.  To the point where I told him he can’t get a job because he’ll meet new people. Haha.

Now, I know he needs a job. And I’m not actually going to come between him getting a job, I’ll support him in every way I can¹. And I totally trust him. I just don’t trust other girls. I used to be one of those girls. “Oh come on baby, your girlfriend won’t know”. OK it was once… but still. I’ve done it. Karma is a bitch, right?

It’s also the fact that he’s never had another girlfriend. He’s also going to Uni next year. While he is doing Computer Science, and there are not A LOT of girls who do that over here in NZ, the few that will  have the same interests.. who will be addicted to WoW and C++ and other.. programmy stuff he does. I tired to take an interest in programming. I didn’t get far. I like to play WoW. But I like doing quests and leveling etc. He likes to raid. So we don’t play together.

I know we’re young. And last year he admited that we may not last long together. Which broke my heart. And while he’s right, I feel that he is.. *the one*?.. No, not *the one*. But. Well, he’s influenced my life a lot. Changed me for the better. Right now, he IS my life. without him, I really don’t know what I’d do. He chears me up when I’m down, he listens to my fears I have about my family, he’s the first boyfriend to tell ME that HE misses me, before I get the chance to say it. He makes me smile just when I look at him. And I’m scared I’ll lose that.

Perhaps what I’m trying to say is that I’ve become too dependent on my boyfriend. And now with him going to a co-ed² uni³, and wanting to get a job. He’s going to be exposed to pretty girls who have the same interests as him.

Stupid past boyfriends. Why  did they have to ruin my trust’ness.

1. because it’ll be his first job [↩]
2. Female/male [↩]
3. He’s used to attending boys schools [↩]

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