So I was reading a blog over at unfoolish-miracles and she made a very valid point to me. Her blog was about how.. or how she didn’t.. turn out a specific way. Er. This is hard to word. I mean, things have happened to her in her life.. and she’s not a bad person. Kinda. It was like a week ago since I read it. Haha.
Anyhow, this is fully very true for me. Everyone in my family have told me how proud they are of me, for turning out the way I have (so far at lest, haha). Things in my life have been.. not so “easy” eather. But I’m… “OK”.
My aunt has said how surprised she is that I don’t smoke dope. Because most of my family has or still is smoking dope.1 and how I don’t smoke, even though pretty much everyone around me does. I’m not going to lie, I’ve done dope. A couple of times. My mum and aunt both know, and they are happy that I didn’t *stick to it*. Although I must say, the reason I don’t do it now is because I sometimes have odd reactions to it. Like eating and feeling it in my legs… Or shaking. Another honest thing; I used to be in the top class at school, I smoked weed a couple of times; down went my “grades” I guess.
They’re also proud of me because I’m not a hoe on the street. Honest, my aunt went through a rough time when she was young, and told me she was a bit of a hoe at 13. THIRTEEN! I couldn’t believe it.
I’m going to open up right now and be even more honest. It’s not… that big a deal, but when I was younger, my mum moved in with this guy.. long story short he’s in jail now for being a pedophile. Luckily I didn’t get the brunt of it. He just touched me a little, if my mum didn’t get out of there for whatever reason she did2 then it would of been a lot worse. A lot of children who are sexually abused can rebel, and be a little.. promiscuous?3
Anyhow, I say all this stuff because it’s a pretty common thing for kids to do drugs and drink and smoke and whore around now days. Spesh when their parents have split up and they don’t have much of a … “father figure”. Or parenteral control for that matter.
I’ve lived with my dad for a year (last year) and honestly, I’m quiet shocked myself that I’m not fucked up in the head. The drugs he does… he drinking… The way he would rather drink then fetch me from the air port.. or have a hang over on the days he promised to take me driving… or just not “feel like going”. It’s a wonder I don’t crave mens attention so much as I know other girls do.
Don’t get me wrong. I know there are a lot of kids out there who’s family isn’t perfect, who’s lived cheap and not with their father4 and turn out fine like me5 And I know there are kids out their with their parents together and living comfortably who are still hoe’ing around and smoking and drinking and what not. I’m just saying… I myself wonder why I don’t have kids and working as a hooker on the street by now.
Then it occurred to me though. It’s because I was raised by my mum. Someone who cared. Someone who was always there and put her kids first. Who tried her hardest to make ends meet. Who told me “I’ll always love and support you sweetie, even if you want to work as a hooker, I’ll always be here“. Who let me out at night be grounded me and stuck to it if I was late. Who didn’t lie about drugs and sex and all the bad things some parents never discuss, or make out to be bad. Who was honest with me about everything. Who taught me the difference between “like” and “love”. Who jokes with me about sex now that I’ve had it6. Who’s the best mother in the world.
That’s why I’m not some attention seeking crack whore trying to support 3 kids.
Nothing against crack whores or anything of you happen to stumble across my blog. 
- Dad, aunty, brother. & my Mum used to, doesn’t any more though [↩]
- we only found out he was a pedo a year or so after we left [↩]
- haha at my big words… [↩]
- or mother for that matter [↩]
- well not like me, I’m not fine, a little crazy in the head maybe.. [↩]
- haha [↩]
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